Dub Be Good To Me. Why Burial's Identity Could Have Stayed Secret . . .
Cay McDermott, August 7th, 2008 17:24

So, it's been revealed that Mercury Prize Nominee Burial "the dark knight of Dubstep" is not a faceless hooded enigma who's out to steal your soul or Fatboy Slim or Aphex Twin, or that guy who did 'Babycakes', or Jonathan King but indeed a rather ordinary looking young chap who actually preferred to remain unknown. It also turns out that Burial is not Luke Skywalker's Dad, is not Richey Edwards from the Manic Street Preachers or a genocidal hypnotherapist from Belgrade, or even the true identity of Jack the Ripper. He's just some geezer. Of course, none of this mattered to the ironically named Gordon Smart from The Sun newspaper, who this week put out a modern day bounty on the publicity shy chap, when even the most cursory search of the internet would have revealed that Burial quietly 'outed' himself via the Independent as early on this year as February. Of course while even expecting the cephalically challenged Mr Smart to even find his own anus with both hands and a GPS sat nav device is too much to ask maybe calling on him to actually research one of his own stories is perhaps over optimistic.
So to Will Bevan (for it is he) we can only say we're sorry that it came to this and to add that we love your tunes, even the "rubbish" ones, as you call them on the Burial mySpace.
And to anyone who went to school, college etc with Mr Gordon Smart we'd like to ask, does this font of journalistic excellence have any skeletons in his closet? Does he wet the bed; does he cry after sex; does he cry during sex; does he wet the bed during sex; does he have a titanium plated septum? It's all in the name of quality journalism. You can let us know at the following email address: info@thequietus.com.
While you are pondering that our friend Christina McDermott has produced a top ten gallery of other masked, hooded and otherwise shrouded figures from the music business whose real identities are either still not known or have actually proved to be a bit of a disappointment once revealed.
Aug 8, 2008 9:57am
I do know Gordon Smart, hes a pretty nice guy actually, even if i didn't think Burial needed exposing.
I didn't know it was him to wrote the article until now.
Aug 8, 2008 1:24pm
We're puzzled as to where the Fatboy Slim link came from. It wasn't something we put out there (as far as I know anyway). All seemed very random to me. If Norm hadn't been away at the time, I think that particular rumour would have been squashed very quickly. Simon (FBS co-producer)
Aug 8, 2008 1:45pm
I just thought it was 'lazy journalism' on the sun's part - er, quick, which big dance names do we know, er . . .
I'll freely admit that I did spend about a week speculating in private when he first came out that he was actually Rupert Parkes aka Photek. There was something about the drum programming on the early stuff . . . but after a while you just realise - it's obviously someone who wants to keep his head down.
To be fair to the currant bun - both Quentin and Richard have gone under numerous pseudonyms.





















Cat Power
Britney Spears
Coldplay
The Killers
The Bronx
Skeletons
Aug 7, 2008 8:27pm
Dr. Doom is the Fantastic Four's arch-nemesis.
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