Aphex Twin is rumoured to be "unworried" about power trio's new grindcore direction

Pie-faced rock aristocrat, Tom Richelieu-Edgebaston has announced an exciting new direction for Keane, saying: "We've agreed that the more tasteless and uncool we make our music, the better."

Young Master Tom, who bears an uncanny resemblance to a big toe wearing a miniature wig, told rock bible, The Daily Star that they wished to push the boundaries of "musical etiquette".

High-street turf accountants William Hill have already started offering odds on what Keane's new direction will be like:

Norwegian Black Metal: 99-1

Bassline Niche: 50-3

Doom inflected Dub Step: 13-1

New Eccentric: 3-1

A little bit less like Starsailor and a little bit more like Athelete: Evens

The news has sent cataclysmic shockwaves through the sulk rock community. Industry rumours suggest that Coldplay's Chris Martin has been moved to write a song that sounds profound but doesn't actually mean anything if you listen to the lyrics. However, if you play it backwards the phrase: "Shop at Habitat" can clearly be heard.

Is this what a Keane gig may look like in four months time?